Harry Venter: Kinders / Children

On this page Harry Venter's children - Elaine, Joe, Anita and Leon have shared some thoughts and reflections on Harry. "Say it loud, say it clear, in the living years..."

Elaine Venter Hitchcock

Reflections of my Daddy, Harry Venter,

If you count the years that I actually spent quality time with my Dad, then they are few, but the few were enough to leave an everlasting impression.

Up to the age of 12, he was just there. He was our Daddy doing the fathering thing as all fathers do. He was our Daddy who went to work everyday, returning home at the same time everyday, and as I recall, was never late, always on time. Then he and my mother, who would be waiting with a cup of coffee, would walk around the garden. My Daddy was a homemaker, always busy, either in the house or in his garage or in the garden. He was so neat, with everything in place.

After that fateful Easter Friday, things changed. My daddy changed and at the time I didn’t understand why. But later on life I realised just how such a big loss can affect a family, and how devastating it must have been for him to have to come home to an empty house and half the family not living there. The day before my mother died, Tony, whom I had met when he was in matric and me in std 6 and who had started working in the bank, walked past my mom where she was waiting for me to go do some shopping. She called Tony over and told him: Tony, you must not mess with my daughter. You must look after her. And Tony said, Yes, he would always look after me. Why am mentioning this is because after that terrible day, Tony became my anchor in life. He did so much in helping caring for the family, taking me and the other siblings on picnics and to the drive in and playing with them.

And so life went on, daddy sorting out his own personal trials and tribulations. I went to the Full Gospel Church, where I gave my heart and life to the Lord. I remember Daddy always dropping us off at the Methodist church for Sunday school, and then the weekly visit to the cemetary. How painful it must have been. I noticed that daddy didn’t have a Bible and I remember buying him one when I was about 14 or 15 years old. I moved out of our home to marry out of Aunty Stienie’s house and went to live overseas for 4 years, and so my life drifted away from Daddys, but when we returned to South Africa, Daddy became part of our lives again.

He was a strict father, with rules and regulations. I remember him tagging me by the ear to the bathroom and asking me if I had found the bathroom like that, and showed me the towels and clothing on the floor, unwashed bath and uncapped toothpaste. I got the fright of my life and it never happened again. He was sometimes so in thought that when you asked him something, he would just say umh. One day I asked if I could go swimming and he said – umh – and I went. When I got home I got such a talking to for not asking him!!!

Daddy taught me to turn every penny over. When I started working, I borrowed R2 for bus fare and at the end of my first month I had to give that R2 back, plus half of my salary for board and lodging. So I had to budget right from the beginning.

A couple of years ago, Daddy asked me to wish what I would like to inherit from him. And I asked two things, the first thing being his toolbox/room and all his tools. I just loved his garage, so neat and tidy and everything on place and this always impressed me. Secondly, and most probably the most important, was to be able to grow old as gracefully and as dignified as he. Never a grumpy person, never a grumbling word, never a foul word, always something to laugh at or about – a fine sense of humour.

Thanks, Daddy,

Your poppie, as you always call me, Lainey.

Joe Venter

All I can say about my dad is that I am very privileged to have known him. And everyone who knows him can say the same, hey. No man, all I can say is that he has always been there for us when there's a problem. There have been many times that I have gone through something, and you know, my dad would be there for me.
You know, I think the best way to say it is that he has been a stable man. You know, he is like an anchor. No matter how strong the waves of life and its problems are sometimes - that anchor keeps the boat on its place. And that is how my dad is hey. He is always like an anchor that keeps people like us stable.
He will do anything for you hey. But he won't do something that you should do for yourself. That's good, because it helps us stand on your own two feet.

Anita Venter Rock

When my dad turned 80, I decided that in order for me to prepare a speech for his party- I would "interview" my dad to get more information about his life that he so rarely spoke about. I am so sorry that I do not have those notes anymore, as they made interesting reading. Mostly the story was about his years in the war and the brave deeds that he performed.

One story in particular stuck in my mind of my dad air lifting soldiers from Tunisia after it fell to Rommel. One of my favourite things to do was to page through my dads Log Book and read with fascination about all the places my dad had been to during the war.

All these stories from my dad inspired and encouraged me to grow up to be a independent strong person and to face my future with confidence. I hope I have inspired my own children to also have the same ideals.

Bill and I salute you on this your 90th birthday and hope we ourselves get to celebrate this milestone with as healthy a body and mind and surrounded by family and love as you are today.

Lots of love,
Anita

Leon Venter

MY DAD
(Nicknamed Cats Eyes in the 2 nd world war due to his excellent night vision )

Through all his trials and tribulations my dad has always been there for me. He has always guided me, protected me and when necessary reprimanded me. He always ensured that each and every year we had a family holiday together, he encouraged me in my sport, ensured that I went to Sunday school, attended the parent's teachers meetings and made sure that homework and projects were
done. I have never seen my dad drunk or out of control and cant say that he ever used foul language.

When I became a teenager and thought that I was more clever than him, he would very quickly show me who is the elder and more knowledgeable in the things of the world, either by sitting me down and discussing things with me or if the situation called for it, then over the lap I went and the belt spoke to me. Once I became very cheeky and a quick back hand that not even Chuck Norris could duck sorted me out. Most times he would talk to me about my problems, not in a threatening or aggressive manner, but he would approach me while I was busy doing something, ask if I needed help and then start discussing issues with me. I must confess, I am greatfull for all of this.

My dad was also a very hard task master. I had my chores to do, cutting the lawn, turning the beds, cleaning the fishpond, washing the car etc etc. The one thing that sticks in my mind and detested the most, was having to pick up cigarette butts in the garden, thankfully he stopped smoking.

Today I can say with pride that he was and still is my rock. He has given me a solid base on which to build my life. I am also thankful to God and our Lord Jesus Christ for coming into my dads life.

Regards, Leon Venter

PS: This is a letter I found recently that I had written to my dad: -->

11^th June 2009

Dear Dad,

I have been wanting to write to you on many occasions, but like always, true to our human nature, we have blinkers on and only see what is in front of us and ignore the necessary important things happening on the sidelines.

Firstly I want to say thank you for being such a wonderful father and role model throughout my life. I just wish that I had taken more note of what you were trying to teach me and listened. But as I have learnt being apparent is not easy and all of a sudden when our kids become teenagers, they get this influx of knowledge and we get the “ Brain Drain “ and are instantaneously stupid. I do remember though that if I got too clever you would quickly put me in my place. I suppose bending the tree while it is still young really works and saves a lot of pain later. (The thought of me “ trimming” your willow tree just a bit and ending with a stump sticking outcomes to mind. Ditto the Fig tree, I think.)

In my eyes life has not treated you fairly, I don’t have to mention details, yet through all of it you picked yourself up, held your head high, pushed your chest out, prayed to God and always believed in Him. I know it must have been tough but looking back that’s exactly who you are, a fighter and a man of great integrity and honesty.

I don’t recall you being a church going man but I know God loved you and had a plan. He always has a plan and most of the time we can’t see it, but eventually He allows us to see it. The reason I say he had a plan is because he sent an angel “ Betty “ into your and our lives. How fortunate we are to be blessed and have shared life with a person of such love, patience, humbleness, fairness and kindness. I truly love and admire her.

Anyway Dad this is the 3^rd letter that I have written since being the army. Quite an achievement don’t you think ? HA! HA! HA!

One to Kyle, One to Betty and this one to you. Once you have read this ask Betty if you may read hers as there is some info on our walk with The Lord Jesus Christ to date.

Trusting you all have a wonderful day and hope to see you guys soon.

Your loving son

LEON ( Ps Read Colossians 1 : 9 – 14 )

Mandie

Ek het Oom Harry ontmoet toe ek in St 9 was. Ek was 16 jaar oud. Ek het van die begin af van hom gehou en hoe langer en hom geken het, hoe liewer het ek vir hom geword. Vir ‘n beter stiefpa kon niemand gevra het nie. Ons was ook baie gelukkig in die sin dat al vier oom Harry se kinders en ek en Noreen van die begin af goed oor die weggekom. Ons was een groot “happy family” en het groot sports gehad.

Vandat ek geskei is was oom Harry my persoonlike “handy man” en my steunpilaar. Nie dat ek dit van hom verwag het nie, dit is maar net hoe en wat hy is. ‘n Wonderlike Pa in elke sin van die woord.

Oom Harry is die perfekte man vir my Ma en hy is so lief vir haar en daarvoor sal ek altyd dankbaar wees.

Ek het drie kinders en vier kleinkinders en hulle is net so lief vir hulle oupa: Donovan, Vicky en Lloyd. Donovan het 2 dogtertjies, Allison en Jenna-Leigh. Vicky het ook 2 kinders. Kate-Lynn en Keagan

Oom Harry en my Ma is twee wonderlike mense en ek weet nie wat ek sonder hulle in my lewe sou doen nie. Dankie oom Harry vir al jou liefde en bystand deur al die jare. Ons is baie lief vir jou

Noreen

Ek is bly dat ek vandag ietsie kan skryf oor hoe ek vir Oom Harry in my lewe waardeer. Alhoewel ek maar 'n baie jong meisie was toe my pappa in die vliegtuigongeluk oorlede was, kan ek onthou hoe dit so skielik gebeur het - die een dag was hy nog daar en die volgende dag nie. En my moeder Betty het deur die hartseerste tyd van haar lewe gegaan.

En toe kom Oom Harry in ons lewe in. En hy was nie net die beste ding wat in Ma se lewe kon gebeur het nie, maar ook in ons as kinders s'n. Alhoewel ons hom van die begin af tot vandag toe Oom genoem het, is hy in alle opsigte niks anders as on Pa nie. Hy was baie goed vir ek en my suster Mandie en vir my ma.

Hy het die tyd geneem om met ons te speel, en het ons op sommer 'n hele paar vakansies gevat. In my persoonlike lewe is ek so dankbaar vir Oom Harry. Daar was tye waar ek ondersteuning nodig gehad het, en Oom Harry was daar langs my ma vir my en het my baie keer raad gegee waarvoor ek so dankbaar is.

Ek moet sê hy het my sommer baie bederf. Ek kan eerlik sê ek is baie lief vir Oom Harry, en ek dank die Liewe Vader dat Hy hom in my lewe ingebring het.